A Boy Hunter : The raging madness of Puberty!

His name was Nate, and I was barely a teenager!
This is the  scandalous tale of  a shy little girl caught up in the evil,brain draining madness caused by the emotional turmoil triggered by an overdrive in production of growth hormones that tends to drive everyone else to the edge of insanity,leaving them hanging by the thread.
Simply,call it Adolescence.
Now, back to Nate.
I have always been a late bloomer, well, more like the ugly duckling who grew up to be the beautiful swan.
Being in a boarding school was never easy.
I remember back then,while most of my age mates had this  hormone thing raging inside of them like a volcano, erupting into pimples,boobs and booty and every other evil thing that comes with it,
I was mostly inherently stuck with a dormant volcano inside of me, cutting a boyish figure: the baby faced-flat chested,no hint of boobs type,and a little behind supple from an overload of baby fat.
Unlike my peers, all the letter writing, winking, and the secret,daring groping maze that was the characteristic of most night preps passed me with no much ado.
I wasn't jealous as most of you would have been.
It did not  even bother me that I was not a part of this club of the crazy frenzy sorrounding me.
Well, until that day,when girls started fighing.
Fighting for and about Nate.
Something inside me snapped.
Suddenly, I was high on adrenaline, trapped in limbo;an excruciating mix of dare and danger!

He was tall,dark and handsome,and a prefect too.
He was quite the eyesore or rather the eye candy for any girl reeking of puberty,the cause of numerous catfights among the beauties in our class.
I, on the other hand, was the shy little girl,who looked like a boy.
I almost got too comfortable knowing that I would always watch him as he winked at the other girls,smile at them and even let them 'hijack' the long queues for food during meal times,or never make those agonizingly chaotic lines just to get a jerican of water for my bath.
I knew he was out of my league,but, I also knew I had to get him for me.

He became my prey, my Person of Intrest.
 I became the hunter,stalking,waching,waiting for the perfect moment to strike.
Days and days were spend dreaming,calculating, and formulating the perfect pick up line....
Then it just happened.
That night,for some reason I was last to leave the class after a boring night prep,and he just appeared at the door,like vision....nah...he was in every way the epitome of a boy breaking into manhood.....
My brain didn't even think.
No flowery language, no blushing, no stuttering,nothing.
Just one sentence ,straight to the point.
" Nate, I want you to be my Boyfriend".....
Bang!
Silence....
He just stood there, spellbound,....no, more like shell-shocked. He didn't say a word, and as I made my exit, I was pretty sure I had scared the hell out of the guy.
Weeks later,with no word from him, I decided to confront him again and ask for an answer. This time,I caught up with him on his way to the Matron's to take some cough syrup.
All he said was he was still thinking about it.
Aha! The good news of hope.
 That Sunday,I recieved greetings ,send through my cousin,from my Boyfriend!
Bingo!
Oh, how I must have sang,and smiled happily through church that day......
I couldn't wait for the next meal time, just so I could 'jump' the line.
Long story short,
My Madness got me the boy,
And we lived happily  ever after.........nah...
More like I got numerous death stares from girls....
Boys started noticing me,
I got lotsa water for my bath,
Never found my name in any of those lists of Wrong-doers we all so dreaded,....
And,The Boy was mine.....
Oopsie, did I just say that again?

As for whether we gropped,or wrote each other those illicit love letters....
Thats CLASSIFIED.
Just keep Guessing!

The End.

Christened The Nairobi Style: The Memoir of a Sewage Waddler.

 Six O'clock in the  PM , Saturday,  the 5th.
Its Easter Weekend, and I am in Nairobi, the City in the sun, My city.
It seems like the perfect  April evening.
The city street lights illuminate the sky, casting a seemingly warm glow over the city's skyline.
The sky darkens,casting a gloomy vibe against the storeys that congest the city center.
It's going to rain. I panic.
I am not prepared to deal with the mayhem that becomes of this lively city once the first raindrop touches ground.
Throngs of people scurry, to various bus stops tyring to beat the oncoming onslaught and get home.
Then without a warning,the skies open!
Chaos follows.
The atmosphere is buzzing.
Engines revv, buses hoot. A dark blue cloud of smoke from bus exhausts envelopes the city. Conductors call out,at the top of thei voices to anyone who cares to listen to the chaos thats the aura of the late evening.
People rush,helter skelter, to find shelter outside the shops lining the streets.

Amidst the heavy splutter of the rain,a somewhat synchronized symphony of Umbrella and shower Cap vendors shouting,no, singing  their lungs out  fill the side streets, each one of them hoping to take advantage of the situation and make some quick bucks.
Beautiful Nairobi girls with their fake wigs and cheap weaves fly from all corners each trying to find a safe spot to hide from the rain,some managing barely to cover their faces,caked with makeup thats already smudging, forming small rivulets down their cheeks and on to the flimsy chiffon blouses.

I stand outside a shopping mall,contemplating my exit from this mayhem before me.
I am in my Jeans,Tee ,a coat that can barely keep the cold away, and flats.
No handbag,no purse,nothing.
I am a self-contained kind of girl, and today seems to be the day of reckoning.
As I stand stupified,clutching on to a frozen Chicken liver pack,my mind wanders back to the house,where my unused umbrella lies and suddenly I wish i could reach out and take it.(Where the the heck are Superman,  and The Flash, when a girl needs them?)
Someone pushes me hard.My reverie is cut short as I stagger into the rain battered street.
Experience from my days as an attachee at a local weather station tells me that this rain is not going to stop anytime soon. It dawns on me that I must make a decision, fast, before the streets flood.
I take a step forward and hurtle my being in the street.
Too late,the street is flooded.
Then, and only then,do i realize that I have made the most unwise decision in the history of my existance.
I waddle through the mixture of rain water and Raw sewage that is Nairobi's streets runoff, a shade of gray... no,black.
As  I step, hop and jump over pools and ponds of  dirty water my mind is screaming in disgust.I make a mental note to buy me a pair of gumboots.
Ten minutes of wadding through this bacteria and fungi  ridden water, I realize that there not much I can do to help my situation,other than plead with the Heavens that I do not catch an infection.
Takin a deep breath,I slowly ease into the comfort of having the street to myself.
There is no one stepping on my toes or pushing me around as I walk, so, like a duck,I hold my head high, and sashay through the rain, singing along to Shakira's Hips Dont Lie, now strumming inside my head,with no care in the world,occasionally raising my hand to wipe the water that is constantly running through the cornrows thats my hair,down my face into my clothes.
Funny how this rain makes me feel sexy.
I won't let this rain beat me down, no, I won't.
Endless minutes of hopping through steets and lanes seem to pass. Finally ,I find myself a bus to take me home.
I shrug off my coat,shake off the excess of the rain water soaking it and get in to the bus.
I am so cold and wet ,my brain is almost freezing and the only thing that is keeping me sane is the
cold pack of frozen liver that I can't wait to get home and fry.

The ride home is short,and as I alight from the bus it suddenly occurs to me that I have finally been christened the Nairobi Style,
Swimming through Nairobi sewage.
So,
Today call me,
WN,
 The Sewage Waddler!

My Chronicles-The Girl Trapped in the Mind of a Man

I always say that the worst or maybe the Best thing that ever happened to me was growing up in a Man's world.

All my childhood was spend doing manly or is it boyish things.
From the talk,to the walk, to the play.... every thing.
 Infact, I have NEVER owned a doll in my life, and well, my one and only teddybear was a Breathing human being; a man!

As a pre- teen,while girls my age were busy playing 'Kalongo' and 'Cha Mama na Cha Baba'  I was busy playing football and 'driving' toy cars made out of  Milk packets fitted with 'pekele'  for wheels.

Infact, My Mama never told me, like every girls mother does that boys are bad. How could she?

So,from an early age, I learned to suck it up and act like a man.

Crying was considered a sign of weakness, and my brothers would have a field day taunting me when those drops threatened to flow. 

Over time I have mastered the art of Crying from the inside, and channeling the tears to my nose,always getting  the temporary 'Flu' that comes with it.

Boarding school didn't help either. Actually, it made me become some sort of a hardcore.
 I learned how to 'borrow' stuff like pens and pencils from my classmates desks, and swear that they were mine,without any guilt. Oh and the water!

Fast foward to High school, and I found myself in a girls world.
Oh Boy! From the word go, I was all confused.
Here I was, skinny...
No!
To be candid, I was in that stage thats between skinny and voluptious,where your breasts are still thinking about 'coming out' and your bum is round and full of baby fat.
Fresh from the village, sporting a struggling hairdo; the kind that makes Ox- tails instead of Pony tails ,and my trademark baby face,thrown into a world where girls with flowing hair walked with their heads held high, so sure of themselves, so confident!
For a while, I struggled fitting in,trying as much as I could, to let go of my signature walking style which I had copied from my brother; you know that walk that is the characteristic of every highschool boy, where the soles of your feet never seem to touch the ground,right?

Then sweet sixteen happened.
This is one age that no one really prepares you for.
 All this feel good vibes that come with it.
Oh my! The emotions.
Everything seemed to happen so fast!
I woke up one day,
Suddenly I was floating..... NO! drowning....
It was like Creation was happening all over again.
I felt the need to wear a bra, and walk around my chest thrust foward,swaying my hips,flaunting what that Deep Slumber in the garden of Eden gave to Adam , a Woman.
Years later,
I am glad I grew up in a man's world,before I got to unravel the beauty of being and feeling like a woman.
I taught me how to think like a man, but act like a girl.
I taught me how to love like a man, and care like woman.
I taught me how to work hard like a man,and pamper myself like a woman.
I taught me how to be loyal to the people and things I hold important like a man does,
I taught me how to be arrogant and sexy at the same time
I taught me how to balance the Man that I was Cultured to be, and the Girl I was born to be.
 So,
Everytime you stop to think, and wonder why you cannot quite get me,
Know this,
I am by default a girl,trapped in the mind of a man.