I take pride in the fact that my dad, as old fashioned as he is gave me that one gift that most humans of my gender have had to fight for all their life.
This is not to say that it has been easy. Growing up with testosterone charged males who are ever trying to be macho in the eyes of their peers is not a piece of cake.
From declining to do my brothers laundry , having cleaning and cooking duty rotas taped on our kitchen wall, to beating the lights out of a guy who insulted me because I was playing football with a bunch of boys, I have had to literally punch my way into what I perceive to be equality ,so many times such that I lost count along the way.
I remember coming home from school after the first term in high school, super charged from the endless hours spend in the library reading Feminist poetry and literature, like a bloodhound, looking for trouble with anyone who dared insinuate that my place as a woman was in the kitchen or at the laundry room doing house chores.
From declining to do my brothers laundry , having cleaning and cooking duty rotas taped on our kitchen wall, to beating the lights out of a guy who insulted me because I was playing football with a bunch of boys, I have had to literally punch my way into what I perceive to be equality ,so many times such that I lost count along the way.
I remember coming home from school after the first term in high school, super charged from the endless hours spend in the library reading Feminist poetry and literature, like a bloodhound, looking for trouble with anyone who dared insinuate that my place as a woman was in the kitchen or at the laundry room doing house chores.
Now, I know some of you might be wondering why I could not just do their laundry, cook, and clean and let my brothers be.
I will tell you why.
I went to school as they did, had homework to do just like they had, needed to play just as much as they needed,and I also needed extra time to be a girl, which by the way, I never had; I was busy learning to do boyish stuff because they made me believe that I was just like them.
So, instead of playing Cook,and changing doll clothes, I was out in the streets kicking tins and paper balls or making wire cars.There were days I even practiced my boxing skills and ended up going home with sore knuckles from the endless hours I spend hitting rough concrete walls in our neighborhood to make my fists hard.
I will not even start on how I learned how to replace fuses in electrical appliances,or even test if batteries had power using my tongue,or even how I learned how to ride a bike.
Today,we all have grown up and left the nest. We only get together on holidays and no one bothers me with their laundry anymore.
Now, I am facing the biggest challenge of my existence as a woman; annealing my place in a world dominated by men.
Its a crazy place this world.Its a pity that no one ever tells you what to expect in life after school as a girl, or how hard the transition to womanhood is.
The old cliche told to every girl that 'Men are bad' is very far from the truth. (It only applies to boys)
I find men to be good people, but some are just downright evil ,chauvinistic, egotistic ,close- minded,manipulative and demeaning. They will do anything and everything to make women their slaves.
They will use Religious texts,and culture to woo you into believing them. They will call you names,brand you until you start doubting yourself.
Nowadays,I find myself dealing with this crop of men.And boy,do they come in all shades,shapes and sizes.The most repulsive and annoying lot, the Potbellied ,married LOSERS who think that just because they paid a hefty amount of dowry,they rightly own every woman.
Fortunately for me,feminist poetry was my turning point.It gave me a clear picture of who I am as a woman.
It made understand the reason why I was always at war with people who seemed to take me to be a lesser being. It made me resolve never to let any one put me down just because I am a woman.
Yes! I will fight if I have to.Even if it means I claw my way to the top,I will,because I don't do easy.
I am not sorry for the numerous times I have had to slap a man because he greeted me in a way that made me feel violated.
I don't even care if they find me arrogant or rude because I refused to let them talk me down,or I declined to make them a cup of tea in the office just because I am the woman.
I don't care if their community,culture or belief states that a man should be worshiped,because i won't.
I don't give a damn if they took a loan to buy that big car they drive or their bank account can feed an entire continent, If they cannot respect the fact that I work hard more than they have to ,then we are going to have a problem.
I lack words for those humans from Mars who think that a woman somehow has to sleep her way up the corporate to be in a position of power.. I hope one day ,when your have daughters become Managers and CEO's, you won't expect them to give you 'Bed' money.
As for those who think that I should slow down,grab all this opportunities coming to me from all directions and live on the easy fast lane, may the Good Lord have mercy on you.
Bottom line: I won't ever wash, clean ,cook or kneel in submission to a man because the society expects me to.
I will,because I want to.
I will tell you why.
I went to school as they did, had homework to do just like they had, needed to play just as much as they needed,and I also needed extra time to be a girl, which by the way, I never had; I was busy learning to do boyish stuff because they made me believe that I was just like them.
So, instead of playing Cook,and changing doll clothes, I was out in the streets kicking tins and paper balls or making wire cars.There were days I even practiced my boxing skills and ended up going home with sore knuckles from the endless hours I spend hitting rough concrete walls in our neighborhood to make my fists hard.
I will not even start on how I learned how to replace fuses in electrical appliances,or even test if batteries had power using my tongue,or even how I learned how to ride a bike.
Today,we all have grown up and left the nest. We only get together on holidays and no one bothers me with their laundry anymore.
Now, I am facing the biggest challenge of my existence as a woman; annealing my place in a world dominated by men.
Its a crazy place this world.Its a pity that no one ever tells you what to expect in life after school as a girl, or how hard the transition to womanhood is.
The old cliche told to every girl that 'Men are bad' is very far from the truth. (It only applies to boys)
I find men to be good people, but some are just downright evil ,chauvinistic, egotistic ,close- minded,manipulative and demeaning. They will do anything and everything to make women their slaves.
They will use Religious texts,and culture to woo you into believing them. They will call you names,brand you until you start doubting yourself.
Nowadays,I find myself dealing with this crop of men.And boy,do they come in all shades,shapes and sizes.The most repulsive and annoying lot, the Potbellied ,married LOSERS who think that just because they paid a hefty amount of dowry,they rightly own every woman.
Fortunately for me,feminist poetry was my turning point.It gave me a clear picture of who I am as a woman.
It made understand the reason why I was always at war with people who seemed to take me to be a lesser being. It made me resolve never to let any one put me down just because I am a woman.
Yes! I will fight if I have to.Even if it means I claw my way to the top,I will,because I don't do easy.
I am not sorry for the numerous times I have had to slap a man because he greeted me in a way that made me feel violated.
I don't even care if they find me arrogant or rude because I refused to let them talk me down,or I declined to make them a cup of tea in the office just because I am the woman.
I don't care if their community,culture or belief states that a man should be worshiped,because i won't.
I don't give a damn if they took a loan to buy that big car they drive or their bank account can feed an entire continent, If they cannot respect the fact that I work hard more than they have to ,then we are going to have a problem.
I lack words for those humans from Mars who think that a woman somehow has to sleep her way up the corporate to be in a position of power.. I hope one day ,when your have daughters become Managers and CEO's, you won't expect them to give you 'Bed' money.
As for those who think that I should slow down,grab all this opportunities coming to me from all directions and live on the easy fast lane, may the Good Lord have mercy on you.
Bottom line: I won't ever wash, clean ,cook or kneel in submission to a man because the society expects me to.
I will,because I want to.
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